Depression

I was asked by my good friend, "What Satan get you 'down' with, and how do you usually turn back to God?" and as I was replying to him, I thought, "It would be good to post it up on my blog too, to encourage those who are reading." So this post is the answer to that question.

Before I was saved, I got "hooked on" to pornography. I stumbled upon it by accident. But due to that incident, I got curious about it and started to look up on it. And even though after I receive Jesus as my personal Savior, I still had the problem with it.

I am not proud of it. But most of the time when I get "down" is because of pornography (not necessary just that). Satan will come towards me and wave that "bait" into my face, and losing to temptation, I bite into it. And after I notice what I have done, my heart starts to sink. And here come Satan, whispering into my ear, "See, you fell for my trap again. God didn't really save you. You're no good. You fall and get up, and fall and get up, same thing over and over. You're an annoyance to God. He's (God) is angry with you for falling again."

And those thoughts just keep on coming and than I start to think, "He's (Satan) right. I'm annoying God. I'm a pain in the butt to Him."

"God, I'm annoying you. So why don't you just take my life away, and be done with? I'm not important. Just end it!"

When I'm down, Satan comes and accuses me, and my flesh comes and tell me to give up.

But God comes in and speaks to my heart, "It's okay, I'm right here beside you. I want to help you when you fall down. It's no big deal. Don't give up, I have a plan ahead of you. Keep on enduring it, for the way will get difficult. I love you, and I don't want to lose you."

God encourages me.

I'm not perfect, and I stumble. I get 'down' easy, and want to give up. But you know what, God does not want me to give up. He has a greater plan ahead of my life.

But I can't do it alone, for Satan will keep on coming back, using the same old trick. But since God saved me, and guided me to Bible College, one thing that I learned the most is the discerning of God's voice. How? By having a morning devotion. God speaks to me through His word (Bible), but also directly into my heart, and through others. If I was not able to discern God's voice through these difficult times, I probably would not be here updating this blog (or even alive). God is gracious and merciful. His love is abundant.

And to those who are reading this post, I would like to encourage you guys too that God encourages and not discourages. He wants you to come back into His loving arms, not away from it. But the road is tough, and you might stumble. But remember, God is always there beside you, lending his hands so you can get back up.

But it is still up to you to accept His loving help, or be prideful and get up yourself.

Here is two Scriptures that came to my head as I was writing this:

Joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."